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Do you get angry easily and find it difficult to stay calm? Do you feel that everything and everyone makes you nervous?
If you are constantly irritable and upset, take the time to figure out why. If you're constantly upset, it takes the peace and joy out of your life and takes a toll on your mental health and your relationships.
Here are 15 reasons why it's so easy to get angry and what you can do to control your emotions.
1. Negative thinking patterns
Constant negative thoughts create aself-fulfilling prophecywhere you always look for evidence to support your pessimistic view. In other words, if you think the world is out to get you, you'll find plenty of examples everywhere.
When you get upset, you fixate on even the smallest problems, which feeds your negative thoughts and increases your anger even more, creating a vicious cycle that is difficult to break.
At the same time, you ignore all the good things happening around you that would help balance your mood.
The key to breaking out of this cycle is to become aware of your thoughts and consciously focus on the positive. If you find yourself thinking things like "This is so unfair" or "I can't take it", stop and reframe those thoughts into something more realistic and helpful.
2. Psychological challenges
Mental illnesses like anxiety and depression alter your perception of the world around you and distort the way you think. Even small annoyances can seem like big problems when you're mentally ill.
Anxiety, in particular, can cause you to overreact to things that wouldn't otherwise bother you. To befight or flight responsebegins and your mind races wildly with worst-case scenarios, turning everything into a source of stress and irritation.
For example, if you send a message to a friend and he doesn't respond right away, you might be upset because you think he's deliberately ignoring you. But in reality they are just busy or the phone is off. Or if you are in a meeting and someone interrupts you, you get angry because you think they are trying to hurt you. But they might just be trying to supplement your point and not realize they've cut it.
When your mental health is affecting your ability to cope with everyday illnesses, it's important to seek professional help. A psychiatrist can diagnose your condition, provide you with tools and strategies to manage your symptoms, and help you see things in a more positive light.
3. Trying too hard
Trying to do too much will leave you feeling overwhelmed and stressed. If you're constantly on the go and don't give yourself time to rest and recharge, it's only a matter of time before you start criticizing others and getting irritated over the little things.
You might think that completing your endless to-do list is the key to success, but in reality, you're just setting yourself up for burnout.
To avoid burnout, take care of yourself and set realistic boundaries. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, and exercise regularly. Set aside time each day to relax and do something you enjoy. And when you feel like you've reached your breaking point, step back and reevaluate your priorities.
4. Life stressors
Many stressors in life can make you more prone to anger and resentment. When you're struggling financially, caring for a sick relative, or going through a breakup, it's natural to get upset more easily.
Additionally, major life transitions like starting a new job or moving to a new city can also be stressful and cause more discomfort.
It's important to find healthy ways to mitigate the stressors in your life as much as possible. For example, if you're constantly worried about money, sit down and create a budget. When you are going through a difficult breakup, reach out to your friends and family for support.
5. Toxic people
be close to somethingtoxic peopleIt's one of the quickest ways to get angry. When you have a coworker, friend, or family member who constantly starts showing off, criticizing, and putting you down, it's natural for their negativity to rub off on you.
When toxic people cross the line, you have to stand up to them, which inevitably leads to conflict and makes you even angrier. Limit your exposure to toxic people as much as possible and surround yourself with positive, supportive people.
6. What a problem
When you're struggling to control your anger, even the smallest setback can trigger a powerful emotional response.
Anger problems usually start in childhood and continue into adulthood. If you grew up in a household where yelling and fighting were commonplace, you might think this is how you handle conflict. Or maybe you were punished for expressing anger and learned to hold it in until you couldn't help but explode at the slightest sign of irritation.
When you respond to stress and frustration with anger, it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. The angrier you get, the more stress you feel and the angrier you get.
7. High standards
If you have unrealistically high standards, you're sure to get upset when things don't go as planned. And let's be honest: things rarely go as planned.
Set realistic standards and expectations for yourself and those around you. If you constantly strive for perfection, you will end up disappointed and upset.
It's also important to remember that nobody is perfect and it's okay to make mistakes. You don't have to settle for mediocrity, but try to be more understanding and tolerant when things don't go your way.
Also, try to be more understanding and patient with others. Not everyone works at the same level as you, and that's okay.
8. Grudges
When you harbor anger and resentment toward someone, it's natural to feel irritated and upset just by looking at that person. It might bother you to do all the housework while your partner doesn't lift a finger. Or maybe you're irritated by a friend who always cancels plans at the last minute.
If you're bothering someone, have an open and honest conversation about what's bothering you. Sometimes all it takes is a little communication to clear the air and relieve tension.
9. Impatience
When you are impatient, you expect things to happen right away and have little tolerance for delays or setbacks. This attitude can quickly lead to frustration and irritation when things don't go as planned.
Try to be more patient and understanding with yourself and those around you. If you're impatient, take a few deep breaths and try to relax. It may take a little longer than you'd like, but it'll work out eventually.
10. Bad communication
Many conflicts and irritations result from misunderstandings. If you don't express yourself clearly, chances are you'll be misunderstood, leading to misunderstandings, arguments, and frustration on both sides.
If you're upset about something, take a step back and try to assess the situation objectively. What are you really trying to say? Once you have a clear understanding of what you want to say, take the time to calmly and clearly explain it to the other person.
It's also important to be a good listener. If someone tries to say something to you, make sure you are really listening. Pay attention to their body language and ask questions if you're not sure what they mean.
11. Lack of control
feeling that you haveno control over your lifeit can be a significant source of frustration and anger. You may constantly be pulled in multiple directions as you juggle kids, chores, finances, and your career. Or maybe you're stuck in a job you hate and have no hope of moving forward.
The reality is that there will always be things you can't control, but that doesn't mean you should feel powerless. Instead of focusing on the things you can't control, focus on what you can. If you're not happy with your job, actively look for a new job, and if you're having trouble keeping up, delegate responsibility or ask for help.
12. Limit violations
If you're constantly feeling irritable and upset, it could be because people are violating your boundaries.
It's important to set boundaries in all areas of your life: with your friends, family, co-workers, and even strangers. When someone is crossing the line, don't be afraid to speak up and say what is acceptable and what is not.
Boundary violations can range from something as minor as someone invading your personal space to something as serious as sexual harassment or physical harm. Trust your gut and defend yourself when you feel someone is crossing the line.
13. Substance use
Alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine can make you jittery and more likely to make you angry. If you're constantly feeling irritable and defensive, look at your drug use and see if that might play a role.
Caffeine, in particular, is a stimulant that can make youfeeling anxious and nervous. If you are prone to rage, try reducing your caffeine intake or switching to decaffeinated coffee or tea. Alcohol is a depressant that can make you irritable and aggressive. If you drink alcohol, watch how much you consume and keep it in moderation.
14. Lack of exercise and sleep
You are likely to be more reactive and irritable if you don't exercise or get enough sleep. Exercise releases endorphins, which have mood-enhancing effects; therefore, even moderate physical activity can make a big difference.
Aim to get at least 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week. If you're having trouble finding the time or motivation to exercise, try breaking your workout into smaller chunks or finding an activity that you enjoy.
Sleep deprivation can also lead to this.irritability and impatience. Most adults need 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night. If you're not getting enough sleep, try changing your sleeping habits. Establish a regular sleep schedule, create a relaxing bedtime, and avoid screen time in the hours leading up to bedtime.
15. Low blood sugar
If you don't eat enough or go too long between meals, your blood sugar levels drop and you may feel shaky, dizzy and irritable.
To avoid low blood sugar, be sure to eat regular meals and snacks throughout the day. If you're accident-prone, pack a snack like a granola bar or a handful of nuts to keep you hydrated until your next meal.
How to Stop Getting Angry So Easily
We've already covered how to deal with being easily upset in certain situations, but what's more general? Here are some helpful techniques for staying calm and relaxed.
1. Understand your triggers and reactions
Whenever you get irritated or angry, take a step back and try to understand what is triggering your reaction. Is there anything that particularly turns you off?
Once you know your triggers, you can start to proactively manage your feelings. For example, if you know he gets upset when he's hungry, make sure he eats regular meals and snacks throughout the day. Or, if a specific person is the cause of your upset, try to limit your interactions with them or set boundaries as needed.
It's also helpful to understand how you react when you get angry. Are you sarcastic or aggressive? Or maybe you withdraw and become moody and withdrawn? Once you are aware of your typical response, you can recognize the signs and take steps to avoid an unhelpful response.
2. Reframe your anger
quadroIt is a cognitive technique that consists of changing the way you think about a situation. For example, instead of getting mad at your partner for leaving his clothes on the floor, you can use this as an opportunity to let him know how much he annoys you. Or if someone cuts you off in traffic, you can use this as an opportunity to exercise patience.
The goal is not to ignore or downplay your feelings, but to find a more helpful perspective on the situation that will help you to respond more constructively.
3. Fake it 'til you make it
It's one thing to know your triggers and deal with them theoretically, but learning to control your emotions or change your perspective takes time and practice. Until you get there, don't be afraid to fake it until you make it.
Smile even when you don't feel like it. Force yourself to count to 10 before reacting to a situation that bothers you. Do what you have to do in the moment to stay calm. Over time these techniques will become second nature to you and you will find it easier and easier to control your emotions.
4. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts, feelings and surroundings. Being aware of this allows you to observe your reactions without getting caught up in them.
Mindfulness can help manage all kinds of negative emotions, including anger. The next time you're upset, take a step back and try to observe your reaction without judgment. See if you can identify what is causing your frustration and let the feeling pass without getting carried away.
It can take years to master mindfulness, but even a beginner can see the benefits with practice.
5. Use relaxation techniques
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and yoga can help relieve feelings of stress and tension. If you get angry easily, take a few minutes to do a quick relaxation exercise. It can make a big difference in how you feel.
6. Minimize stress
Whenever you can, take steps to reduce stress and anxiety in your life. If your job is a significant source of stress, find ways to decrease stress or make work more manageable. If you are constantly worried about money, take steps to get your finances in order. And if you're having a hard time juggling everything on your plate, learn to say "no" more often.
Even something as simple as waking up 15 minutes earlier so you have more time to plan your day can significantly reduce your stress levels.
7. Get some exercise and get enough sleep
Regular exercise and adequate sleep are at play to minimize your stress and anxiety levels. When you are well rested and taking care of your body, you are in a much better position to handle whatever life throws your way.
8. Focus-be not positive
Human beings are programmed to focus on the negative. It's a survival mechanism that helped our ancestors prioritize danger and avoid being eaten by predators. But in today's world, this negative trend can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Make a conscious effort to focus on the positive side of your life. Take a few minutes each day to write down three things you are grateful for. At the end of each week, reflect on all the good things that happened. And if you're upset, try to look on the bright side.
By training your brain to focus on the positive, you can help lower your stress levels and make it easier to cope with stressful situations.
9. Ask for help
If you're having trouble controlling your emotions, it's okay to ask for help. Talk to a therapist or counselor about what you are going through. They can provide valuable support and guidance and help you to deal with your reactions more constructively.
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FAQs
Why do I keep getting angry so easily? ›
What causes anger issues? Many things can trigger anger, including stress, family problems, and financial issues. For some people, anger is caused by an underlying disorder, such as alcoholism or depression. Anger itself isn't considered a disorder, but anger is a known symptom of several mental health conditions.
What are the 3 types of anger? ›There are three types of anger which help shape how we react in a situation that makes us angry. These are: Passive Aggression, Open Aggression, and Assertive Anger.
What emotion is behind anger? ›Emotions that can Trigger
Because anger is easier to feel, it can distract you from experiencing and healing the pain you feel inside. Among the most triggering primary emotions is frustration. Frustration is often experienced when you are feeling helpless or out of control.
- threatened or attacked.
- frustrated or powerless.
- like we're being invalidated or treated unfairly.
- like people are not respecting our feelings or possessions.
A leading cause of anger is a person's environment. Stress, financial issues, abuse, poor social or familial situations, and overwhelming requirements on your time and energy can all contribute to the formation of anger.
What 7 things can uncontrolled anger cause? ›- An angry outburst puts your heart at great risk. ...
- Anger ups your stroke risk. ...
- It weakens your immune system. ...
- Anger problems can make your anxiety worse. ...
- Anger is also linked to depression. ...
- Hostility can hurt your lungs. ...
- Anger can shorten your life.
So when you find yourself sweating the small stuff, it might be a sign that there are other, deeper problems you aren't dealing with, making you liable to blow a gasket at any moment. Many people who overreact tend to overthink situations that don't go their way, leaving them incapable of thinking about anything else.
What are signs of anger issues? ›- Are hurting others either verbally or physically.
- Always find yourself feeling angry.
- Feel that your anger is out of control.
- Frequently regret something you've said or done when angry.
- Notice that small or petty things make you angry.
As one of the more common mental illnesses in America, depression is most recognizable in the forms of sadness or apathy. However, depression doesn't look the same for everyone who experiences it. In many instances, symptoms of depression, such as feelings of unworthiness and helplessness, can translate into anger.
What is the most harmful type of anger? ›Destructive Anger
Destructive anger can be described as a beefed-up version of behavioral anger. It's an extremely dangerous type because, in addition to being potentially violent, destructive anger expresses itself as intense hatred, even in cases where it may not be warranted.
What is the highest stage of anger? ›
Enraged. This is the stage when you feel completely out of control. You may exhibit destructive behavior when your anger reaches this point, such lashing out physically, excessive swearing, or threatening violence.
What happens when you get angry too much? ›Summary. The long-term physical effects of uncontrolled anger include increased anxiety, high blood pressure and headache. Anger can be a positive and useful emotion, if it is expressed appropriately. Long-term strategies for anger management include regular exercise, learning relaxation techniques and counselling.
Do people speak truth in anger? ›People quite often do not speak the truth when angry, but are intentionally hurtful, especially young people. Most people argue to score points off the other person, and don't even listen to what the other person is saying, but instead are thinking about what they can say next to score more points in their mind.
Can an angry person change? ›Can Someone with Anger Issues Change? People can and do change their behavioral patterns all the time–that's often the goal of therapy. However, people with anger issues can only change if they make a commitment and put in the work.
What are the 4 stages of anger? ›The anger arousal cycle
xi The arousal cycle of anger has five phases: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery and depression. Understanding the cycle helps us to understand our own reactions and those of others.
In order from 1 to 6 they are: activation, modulation, preparation, action, feedback and deactivation. I will talk about each stage in detail below.
What triggers anger in the brain? ›Anger starts with the amygdala stimulating the hypothalamus, much like in the fear response. In addition, parts of the prefrontal cortex may also play a role in anger. People with damage to this area often have trouble controlling their emotions, especially anger and aggression.
What are 3 physical signs of anger? ›- a churning feeling in your stomach.
- tightness in your chest.
- an increased and rapid heartbeat.
- legs go weak.
- tense muscles.
- you feel hot.
- you have an urge to go to the toilet.
- sweating, especially your palms.
Anger can cause high blood pressure, migraines, gastrointestinal issues, and rapid heart rate. Managing anger can be done successfully, especially with help from a mental health professional.
Can anger be a mental illness? ›Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a mental health condition marked by frequent impulsive anger outbursts or aggression. The episodes are out of proportion to the situation that triggered them and cause significant distress.
Why do I get mad over little things? ›
What causes irritability? Irritability can be caused by physical and mental health conditions, including: depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety. post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
How do I stop overreacting and getting angry? ›Remind yourself over and over again that overreacting isn't helping anyone, including yourself. Practice taking deep breaths when you feel an overreaction coming on. Identify positive statements you can say to yourself about the situation and/or about yourself. Visualize a more helpful response before reacting.
Why am I angry at someone for no reason? ›You Feel Angry Due to an Underlying Mental Health Issue
Anger, frustration and overwhelm are often signs of either undiagnosed or undertreated mental health issues. Angry outbursts are one of the key signs of depression that often get missed since people think of depressed folks as being quiet and not saying anything.
Development of Anger Issues in Young Children
Scientists have found that anger can appear in infants as young as 4 months old. Anger reactivity increases over time and peaks at around 18-21 months of age10.
Anxiety is fear and unease due to a perceived threat that hasn't yet happened. Anger is reactive and occurs in response to a threat, but it's often paired with a sense of feeling you or someone you observed being wronged.
What are some examples of anger? ›For example, some unhelpful ways you may have learned to express anger include: Outward aggression and violence - such as shouting, swearing, slamming doors, hitting or throwing things and being physically violent or verbally abusive and threatening towards others.
What are little things that make people mad? ›- When the bed sheets keep slipping off the mattress. ...
- The microscopic bubbles in our freshly polished nails. ...
- Wet sandwiches. ...
- Being told to “chill” ...
- When someone you thought was kind of lame likes the same band you've been obsessing over.
Rejection A woman who doesn't know how to handle rejection will be an angry woman. She will seek revenge. If she is your woman and she feels ignored by you, she might bang doors, shout or be cold; the best way to handle such a woman is to give her attention and care.
What are the four types of angry? ›There are four types of anger that can help people understand how the emotion works in their lives: long, short, hot, and cold.
What are 3 signs of an anger problem? ›- Are hurting others either verbally or physically.
- Always find yourself feeling angry.
- Feel that your anger is out of control.
- Frequently regret something you've said or done when angry.
- Notice that small or petty things make you angry.
How do I stop being angry at smallest things? ›
- try to recognise when you start to feel angry so you can take steps to calm down as early as possible.
- give yourself time to think before reacting – try counting to 10 and doing calming breathing exercises.
It triggers adrenocortical arousal, keeping you on edge for hours or even days. This longer reaction keeps you ready to fight or take flight much more quickly in case the threat returns, or another shows up. This is why people who have had a difficult day are so quick to escalate and blow up if something else happens.
Why is my daughter so angry all the time? ›For children, anger issues often accompany other mental health conditions, including ADHD, autism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and Tourette's syndrome. Genetics and other biological factors are thought to play a role in anger/aggression. Environment is a contributor as well.
How do you melt an angry girl? ›- May 13, 2021. Ways to deal with an angry girlfriend. ...
- Don't dismiss feelings. Don't go on to say that she has no reason to be angry. ...
- Stay calm. If you want to deal with your angry girlfriend, stay calm. ...
- Don't get defensive. ...
- Listen. ...
- Give time. ...
- Body language. ...
- Venting out.
The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The mind is sharpened and focused.