Dating a narcissist can be very frustrating and depressing.
If you're in the thick of it, I can join you. I broke up with my narcissistic girlfriend three months ago.
But I have a confession:
I still think about her all the time. I hate to do this, but I do.
If you're like me, you must be wondering something...
You have a very simple question:
Is this person really interested in you? Or is it all a trick?
How do they feel when they see you moving on with your life and doing well, or just worrying about themselves and what they're doing?
15 Things That Happen When a Narcissist Sees You're Cute
This is the situation if you are like me:
You find this person's selfishness and narcissism maddening, but you still care what they think.
Isn't it very common to love someone who is not necessarily the best for us?
Well, here's how to tell what's going on in the mind and heart of your narcissistic partner (or ex-narcissist) when they see you speeding through life and looking great.
1) First: yes they care
One of the first things that happens when a narcissist sees that you're looking good is that they get jealous.
Think about it:
You are anarcissistic. What they want and crave is recognition, attention and praise for them.
When they see that you receive recognition and appreciation and look great, they feel a twinge of jealousy and resentment.
May well-being and positive vibes be theirs, not others.
Even one hot selfie on social media or a big promotion for you and they're already feeling the sting, trust me.
HeNarcissist cares a lotabout the good reactions and situations of others, but in a slightly inverted way.
They worry because they want all the best for themselves and they worry and worry that someone else will get it.
If he used to be your partner, he might also want to come back now that he sees you succeeding in life (or love, or whatever category he sees you're great at).
2) Second, you react strangely when you're okay.
When a narcissist sees that you're cute and wants to be part of the action, they tend to act weird.
After all, your goal is to get noticed. Any attention will be enough, but above all your attention, or at least the attention of those who admire you.
To achieve this, they will engage in often very petty and bizarre behavior.
- Leave annoying and confrontational or sarcastic comments on your social media posts and photos.
- Instead, post attention-grabbing photos, videos, and live streams to try to get people your way.
- Chatting with your friends and trying to start rumors or drama about yourself or the people around you.
- For starters, you struggle to get off the positive track you're on.
- Make a show of dating someone new to try to get their attention, or threaten and suggest cheating to interrupt their powerful flow of energy.
3) They try to make you feel like crap
This is pretty much the worst thing that happens when a narcissist sees that you're okay: they try to make you feel like crap.
Either directly through contact with them or indirectly through friends and hearsay, they try to make you doubt your own worth and ability to love.
This boy, this girl? No, they are rubbish... This is the kind of message they try to spread to get you down.
So the question is: do you buy it?
I have often dated someone whom I have allowed to lower my opinion of myself and question my own worth.
This resulted in a lot of time and energy being wasted chasing love in the wrong places and in the wrong ways.
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4) They want to get over you
Unfortunately, while I talk about some rare good reactions, the things that happen when a narcissist sees that you look good are rarely good.
Sometimes they will see their success as something they need to improve on.
They should be largely considered obsolete.
If you have a nice car, your rich friend bought you a new tester, which is an amazing diamond-encrusted Hummer hybrid.
When you get a new job, start a new business.
When you have a new girlfriend, you have a new sugar daddy who is literally a billionaire.
Of course, of course.
Dr. Darius Cikanaviciuswell explainedThey write, "When they see someone doing well, they feel envy and resentment.
Here the narcissist believes he deserves everything you've achieved because he's better than you.
This makes for some nasty competition, especially when they aren't as successful as you are in many ways, and the bitterness just keeps building.
5) They hate to see you happy
The narcissist has feelings. You are not a sociopath or psychopath, at least not necessarily.
Because of this, they have real feelings and go through a lot of the same things as the rest of us.
The difference is that all their experiences revolve around a polar star: them.
They may be happy or sad or have a tragedy or a big win: but how does this relate to them and their success and recognition?
These are the things that happen when a narcissist sees that you're okay: He becomes unhappy. They just don't like it when someone else is in the spotlight.
6) They are getting nervous because they are running out of supplies.
The narcissist is the enemy of a win-win situation.
He or she wants all the spotlight, not just part of it. They want all the cheers, applause, money and attention.
If you look good, they will be unhappy and also desperate.
The reason is that if they date you, they will be worried that you will upstage them.
When you're on hiatus, they worry about the end of previous empowerment and appeasement.
They want to get back on the gravy train!
7) They get turned on by your pain
Another thing that happens when a narcissist sees that you're okay is that they pull away from your pain.
The Germans have a special word for it: Schadenfreude.
It means taking pleasure in another's suffering, and it's the narcissist's trademark.
Does this mean narcissists are all bad people?
Not necessarily, it means they are broken people. They can only understand and appreciate life as it revolves around them.
When that's over, they interpret other people's misfortunes as gain for themselves.
It's really sad, really.
8) They try to zombie you
Zombie-ing is when a guy or girl dumps you or fantasizes about you and then reappears weeks or months later as if nothing ever happened.
Hallelujah, they've come back from the dead and claim they've changed their minds.
Narcissists love this.
They review their choices and spend time with whoever gives them the most validation, attention, and intimacy.
Then, when a person is stroking their egos to exhaustion, they will knock on your door again and their curiosity will be piqued by the fact that you look good.
They want some of your love and attention back.
Will you give it to them?
9) They ask about you
When narcissists see that you look good and look good, they become uneasy.
They'll check you out, basically to see if you're as good as you look.
They want to know more about what the business is and will ask friends, family and everyone else for details.
If you're on a break or break, don't expect them to go behind your back or go over the edge to find out more about what you're doing.
10) They move
When the narcissist sees that you are beautiful, he wants to take the spotlight away from you and attract adoration.
One way to do this is to step up and seduce yourself or try to get back in your good books.
Not only do they want to tap into the winning energy, success and beauty you are manifesting, they also want to take it away from you.
Attracting yourself to a seductive level can be one way to do this. To reinvest and hook them so they can use that to get their eyes and others' eyes back on them.
11) They try to make you jealous
Sometimes the narcissist sees that you are fine and doesn't know how to calm his own feelings of envy and resentment.
That's why they will tryencelar…
He might start dating someone, imply that he cheated when you're dating, brag about your great work, or make it clear that his life is way ahead of yours.
It's up to you to resist this kind of tactic, even if it's surprisingly persuasive.
11) They play mind games
Mind games are a narcissist's specialty.
They may try to trick you into thinking that you yourself are the narcissist...
Another popular tactic is to convince you that your own success is really mediocre, undeserved, or excessive.
The bottom line is that they will try to make you doubt yourself and go to them for reassurance.
They then demand that you bow down and worship them once more.
12) They start a fight
Unfortunately,narcissistssometimes he gets to a point of despair and does certain negative things that happen when a narcissist sees that you are ok.
You will start a fight. Many times the fight will be for nothing.
They will insult you, criticize you, or pick a fight with a friend of yours.
They will try to cause drama in your family or problems at work.
They will call you ugly or fat.
Whatever it takes to make you feel like crap and engage with them (and give them that raw attention).
13) You're in a bad mood
Narcissists can beexperienced handlers.
When their other tactics don't work, they sometimes get angry.
Playing the victim can be useful and effective, like a chameleon.
You might start to think that you've judged them too harshly or hurt them too deeply with your own success and happiness.
Poor baby, maybe you should give it one more chance, right?
14) You are trying to change
I believe anyone can change if they put their heart and mind into it and are consistent.
Every now and then the things that happen when a narcissist sees that you are okay, he notices your jealousy and resentment and starts to figure out why that is.
Then work on changing the part of yourself that resents others' success and craves attention.
And they become a potentially better, more mature partner for you.
the end result
The bottom line is that if the narcissist you are dating or have dated is on step 15, it's probably best to avoid them.
I know it's easier said than done, and love doesn't always play by the rules.
However, never forget your own worth or sacrifice it to someone else's whims and problems.
Always remember that theLook for true love and intimacy.It starts with you
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