How to leave someone you love: 14 things you need to know (2023)

Letting go of someone you love is never easy.

We invest so much of ourselves in romantic relationships that when we finally accept that it's time to say goodbye, it's like saying goodbye to a large part of us.

Every funny memory, every inside joke, every photo:Let go of your partnerit means giving up everything the two of you have shared, and that's a decision we just don't want to make.

But there are times when you just have to look inside yourself and admit: it's over, it's over and it's time to move on.

In this article, I'm going to talk about the best ways to let go of someone you love.

How to leave someone you love: 15 essential tips

1) Separate

Breaking up with the person you love doesn't just mean putting physical distance between the two of you. Separation represents a mental and emotional disconnection from that person.

if youto fall for somebody, you begin to believe that your energies are in sync; somehow you feel what they feel and understand them better than anyone in the world.

The first step to letting go of someone you love is dissociation. Remember that this journey concerns you and no one else.

Imagine yourself as a different individual, separate from the desires and emotions of your current ex.

2) Explain your "why"

Getting ahead is a self-imposed mission, and like all missions, you need a specific reason that motivates you to achieve your goal.

saying goodbye to a loved oneit can be a harrowing experience.

When it comes to love, there are a million different ways to convince yourself to pull away and be with that person, no matter how pointless or difficult your situation is.

Therefore, you need to translate your motivation to keep going into simple, repeatable words like:

• I continue because I don't think my partner and I have the same goals in life.
• I move on because I'm in love with someone, because I don't want to wait for someone who doesn't love me.
• I keep going because I don't deserve to love an abusive partner.

Providing your motivation for advancement will keep you on track and focused so you can successfully complete this experience.

3) What would a relationship coach say?

This article examines the best wayslet someone goLove, it might help to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences...

hero of the relationshipis a website where highly qualified relationship coaches help people to overcome complicated and difficult love situations such as: B. Leaving the person you love. They are a very popular resource for people facing this type of challenge.

How can I know?

Well, I came into contact with Relationship Hero a few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in thought for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it going again.

I was blown away by how nice, empathetic and really helpful my coach was.

In just minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice tailored to your situation.

Click to start.

4) Stop fantasizing

To distance yourself from the person you love means to stop introducing yourself to them.

Whether it's innocent thoughts about your possible future together or the every now and then sensual fantasies, every form of imagination that goes with itthat person needs to stop.

To really let someone go, you have to give yourself space to unlearn and unfamiliarize with the person.

Yes they areconstantly in mind, you will be tempted to analyze the situation and imagine that the two of you are together.

5) Accept your pain

As friendly as your parting is, leaving someone else behind is still a heartache. Accept that pain, but don't use it to fuel self-pity and regret.

Don't hide from these emotions and pretend they don't exist. An important part of making a commitment is accepting your feelings as they are, regardless of your current ex's opinions.

Whatever feelings and beliefs you have about the relationship or situation, know it's safe to address them now without worrying about judgment.

Accept your feelings for what they are so you can begin to heal and move forward.

6) Getting back together

Yes, this article is about howlet go of someone you love. And usually the best way to let go is to just get on with your life without that person.

But here's some confusing advice you don't usually hear: Why not try to get back at them?

The simple truth is that not all breakups are created equal. Here are some situations when getting back together with your ex is a really good idea:

• are you still compatible?
• They didn't break up because of violence, toxic behavior, or conflicting values.

If you still have strong feelings for your ex, you should at least consider going back to them.

And the best? You don't have to go through all the pain of letting her go.

However, you need a plan of attack to get them back.

If you need help with this, Brad Browning is the person I always recommend people to turn to. He's a best-selling author and provides the most effective tips to "get your ex back" easily online.

Trust me, I've encountered many self-proclaimed "gurus" who can't compare to the practical advice Brad offers.

If you want to know moreWatch your video online for free here. Brad shares some free tips you can use right now to get your ex back.

Brad claims that over 90% of all relationships are salvageable, and while that may seem excessive, I'm inclined to think he's right.

I've been in touch with too many Hack Spirit readers who are happily back with their ex to be skeptical.

Here's another link to Brad's free video. If you want a foolproof plan to get your ex back, Brad will give you one.

7) Make plans

In order to move forward, you must take steps that really move you forward.

This means investing your time and energy in activities and people that add value to your life.

Having plans isn't just for distraction, it will reignite your passion, curiosity, and interest in the world, and open you up to new experiences that will fill the temporary gap in your life.

Use this time to improve yourself, not just as a potential lover for someone new, but as a person in general. Take up a new hobby or meet up with friends you haven't spoken to in a while.

This stage is about engaging in a way that your life is now so different from the life you shared with your partner. Imagine marking the end of a previous chapter and starting over.

8) Reconnect with your values

Being proud of who you are is a crucial step towards independence. It's hard to reevaluate who you are after a relationship because being with someone else can change you in ways you can't even imagine.

Use this time to reflect on your truest and deepest principles. Evaluate their opinions and ask yourself whether you believe them with all your heart or through influence.

By unpacking your current values, you can rediscover the things you truly believe in, love to do, and stand for without outside influence.

One of the best ways to do this is to grab a notebook and jot down your thoughts and feelings.

Writing helps your mind slow down and structure the information in your head.

Remember that part of the healing process of getting over someone you love is expressing, understanding, and deepening your various emotions.

Journaling helps you express your painful feelings in a safe environment. Nobody will read what you write.

You can be angry or sad. Whatever you're feeling, let it out. Process those feelings.

If you're wondering how to start journaling, try asking these three questions:

• How I feel?
• What am I doing?
• What am I trying to change in my life?

These questions will give you insight into your emotions and get you thinking about the future.

Writing down what you are going to change gives you thatultimate responsibilityto change your life

Understanding that you hold the cards to living a great life gives you strength. You don't have to rely on other people to do thistake responsibility for your lifeand where you go

9) Think about what it takes to be in a great relationship

In order to get over someone you love, you have to think about the relationship and figure out what went right and what went wrong.

Regardless of the reason for the breakup, it's important that you learn the lesson in order for your next relationship to be successful.

And for women, I think the best way to ensure future success is to find out what really drives men in relationships.

Because men see the world and are different from youmotivated by different thingsWhen it comes to love

Men have a built-in desire for something “bigger” than love or sex. That's why men who seem to have the "perfect girlfriend" remain unhappy and are constantly looking for something else, or worst of all, someone else.

Simply put, men have a biological urge to feel needed and important and to keep the woman they care about.

Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls this the heroic instinct. He made an excellent free video about the concept.

You can watch his video for free here.

As James argues, male desires are not complicated, they are just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true when it comes to the way men approach their relationships.

So when the hero instinct doesn't kick in, men are unlikely to be content in a relationship. He holds back because he sees a relationship as a serious investment. And he won't fully "invest" in you unless you give him purpose and make him feel important.

How do you trigger that instinct in him? How do you give it meaning and purpose?

You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not or play damsel in distress. You don't have to dilute your strength or independence in any way.

In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step forward to deliver.

In his video, James Bauer describes several things you can do. It features phrases, text, and short requests that you can use right now to make him feel more important to you.

Here is another link to the video.

By activating this very natural masculine instinct, you not only boost his confidence but also help take your (future) relationship to the next level.

10) Make peace with the past

It's hard to move forward when you feel like things are holding you back.

Maybe you're guilty of not being the best partner you could be, maybeYou are still guilty of wanting to end the relationship.

Despite these feelings, remember that in the midst of love, longing, and happiness, there is also a part of you that wants to let go and let go of that person.

No matter how much you love her, there's a stronger, wiser part of you that knows it's time to move on.

Whatever is holding you back: guilt, anger, unresolved issues, unfair accusations,Unrequited love– take the matter for granted and resolved.

Remember: you are no longer repairing the relationship, you are preparing to move forward on your own, so there is no point in dwelling on past mistakes or missed opportunities.

11) Know your self-esteem

I understand you.

This advice will seem obvious and cliche. But it will still be incredibly valuable.

In order to let go of someone you love, you really need to work on the most important relationship you will ever have in your life: the one you have with yourself.

For many people, a breakup is a negative reflection of our self-esteem.

WhyOverallIt's so much more than losing the person you loved, it's losing the person you thought you were while you were with them.

However, it is not easy to love yourself. From an early age we are conditioned to think that happiness comes from outside by finding the "perfect person". This is a myth that destroys life.

I learned this from an incrediblefree video about love and intimacy, by the world famous shaman Rudá Iandê.

Rudá is a modern shaman who manages relationships. Based on your own experiences and the life lessons you have learned from shamanism, he will help you identify the negative traits and habits you have developed regarding relationships.

He knows that true happiness and love must come from within, and only then can you move on with your life and build healthier relationships in the future.

But you have to take that first step: realizing your self-esteem requires undoing a lot of past damage, and Rudá's video will help you peel off the layers and rebuild that relationship with yourself.

Here is a link to the free video again.

12) How was life when you were single?

When you have to leave someone you love, you may feel depressed or angry about it.

You may tell yourself that you will never be happy again. You'll never find anyone that good. But that's just not the case.

Here are some important questions to ask yourself that will point you in the right direction:

– How was life before you started a relationship?

– How did I spend my time before committing to someone?

– What did I like best about being single?

Shaping a future without another person in your life can be absolutely unthinkable. In order to recalibrate your self-organization, it is important to remember the times before the relationship.

In doing so, you can find strength in knowing that there was a time when you were completely independent, happy, and productive without another person in your life.

Seeing the breakup as just another episode in your life makes it easier to welcome a new chapter in your story.

13) Focus on yourself

When you're not with the person you love, you can feel lost. You feel like a part of you is missing. That's why it's important to devote time to yourself,to reconnect with your emotionsand feelings

Even if you don't feel like it.

There was a time when I, too, felt disconnected from myself after a terrible breakup, but I found a unique way to cope:

a rejuvenatorbreathing video free, also created by the Brazilian shaman Rudá Iandê.

Combining breathing with his shamanic knowledge, these exercises aim to restore emotional balance and resolve fears, but most importantly, to reconnect with yourself.

Whenever I do the exercises I am reminded of how much potential and zest for life I have hidden inside, something we all need to remind ourselves of from time to time.

Because the truth is, until you repair the relationship with yourself, you will have a hard time moving on and embracing life and new love.

Here is a link to the free video again.

14) Time to move on and create a new life

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Do I prefer to be surrounded by friends and family or alone?
• What new things can I experience to improve and enrich my life?
• What kind of person do I want to be after learning what I know now from my previous relationship?

Now that you've rebuilt your identity and are proud of who you are, it's time to do things that will really help you move forward.

It could be as simple as meeting up with old friends or tracking your emotions in a journal.

There are several actions you can take to move forward. In the end, it's about finding meaning in life.

Being in a relationship isn't the only way to find meaning. The reason we place so much importance in romantic relationships is because they give us a sense of belonging.

When we were all hunter-gatherers, our sense of belonging was never in question.

We were part of a tribe, part of where we lived, part of the ecosystem. Now that has changed.

We must find our own tribe. Many people live far away from their families or are separated from them.

We meet different groups of friends throughout our lives, and we need to figure out who we really connect with.

Many of us have never had children, and those of us who have had children are often much later in life than our parents and grandparents.

This is why a relationship has so much potential to give us a sense of belonging and meaning. Our partner is someone with whom we can navigate the world.

A good community can bind us together and give us the strength to grow. But a relationship can also destroy our sense of purpose and belonging.

A relationship that feels bad will keep us from interacting authentically with the world.

Spending most of your time with someone you don't really love and who doesn't love you undermines your ability to connect with others.

Former World War II concentration camp prisoner Viktor Frankl wrote a book called Man's Search for Meaning.

In it, he spoke about how even those reduced to the most desperate of circumstances would search for connection and belonging.

People who were starving gave their last piece of bread and comforted others. Meaning motivates everything.

One of Frankl's most famous quotes is "Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude".

This is an important thing to remember after a breakup. Breakups feel messy and impossible to control.

We feel that our emotions are overtaking us and that there is nothing we can do about it.

What we fear is that our life is not what we imagined. Frankl would say that we must find a different meaning by choosing to change our attitude.

15) Establish a morning and evening routine

Why It's Good: It's hard to get back on track after a breakup, so establishing a morning and evening routine is important.

When you have things to look forward to when you wake up and after you get home from work and school, every day becomes more exciting.

Maybe you can start a new skincare routine or cook up healthy meals for dinner.

In the end, it doesn't really matter what you do in your free time.

Your goal is to build the motivation you need to get up and move forward each day knowing exactly what to do morning and night.

How to achieve this:

• Make mornings and evenings more enjoyable by incorporating self-care into your routine.
• Try to stick to your routine as much as possible within two weeks of the breakup. You can start having more freedom with your time as you feel better.
• Try different routines for weekends and weekdays. Maybe you want to start your day with a podcast on weekday mornings and have breakfast with friends on the weekends.

Letting Go: Finding positivity, growth and opportunity within yourself, without your partner

Letting go of someone you love is contradictory because on the one hand you understand that you long for freedom and independence and on the other hand you have put so much love into this relationship that breaking up with that person is like breaking up a part of you.

Rather than seeing it as letting someone go and losing a part of yourself, see the situation positively and see it as an opportunity to keep growing.

Your affair didn't start with this person; probably won't stop.

Remember the potential you had before you fell in love and the many other possibilities you will find as you move on.

I present my new book

To delve deeper into what I discussed in this blog post, check out my bookThe Art of Separation: How to Let Go of Someone You Love.

In this book, I'll show you exactly how.to forget someoneThey made love as quickly and successfully as possible.

First I'll walk you through all 5different types of separations– This gives you the opportunity to better understand why your relationship ended and how the consequences are affecting you now.

Below I provide a way to help you find out exactly why you feel the way you do about your breakup.

I'll show you how to really see these feelings for what they really are, so you can accept them and finally let go.

In the last part of the book I will tell you why your best self is now waiting to be discovered.

I'll show you how to be single, rediscover the deep meaning and simple joys of life, and finally find love again.

Well, this book is NOT a miracle pill.

It's a valuable tool to help you become one of those unique people who can accept, process and move on.

By putting these practical tips and insights into practice, you will not only free yourself from the mental shackles of a devastating breakup, but you will likely become a stronger, healthier, and happier person than ever.

check here.

You might also like to read:

• Why You Lost Your Boyfriend (And How To Get Them Back)
• My life was going nowhere until I had this revelation.
• That's the one thing every man wants (and it's not sex)